Support for Bereavement from a Clinical Psychologist
If you are looking at this page I’m really sorry that you feel you may soon be bereaved of a loved one or have already faced a bereavement. This isn’t something most of us are very well prepared for, and it’s very common to feel overwhelmed, lost and completely unsure of where to go next or how to cope.
I don’t believe that you have to wait 6 months after a loss to seek support, and think there are many ways that someone with expertise in grief and bereavement can help. I’ve supported many people in the early stages of grief to make sense of their experience and guide them to the right resources to make the very unpredictable and difficult experience somewhat more bearable. This doesn’t always have to be a therapy intervention. Sometimes it can be the space to talk about your experience, make sense of the right way forward, and feel more confident that you have some idea of what you might experience in the future.
Whether you need some gentle guidance to make sense of what is to come if you are experiencing anticipatory grief, or you feel completely lost and want to make sense of your experiences after bereavement — I will tailor the support I offer to your individual needs.
Sometimes as part of a bereavement we can experience a traumatic incident or a series of traumas, and these can really impact on our wellbeing and experience of grief. If you are finding that memories of the past are troubling you or you are feeling extremely distressed about parts of your experience around grief or bereavement, please do get in touch. You don’t have to work through this alone, and there are therapeutic interventions which can help with this.
Common Challenges with Grief
People I’ve worked with who are facing or have experienced a bereavement often tell me that they experience challenges with:
Feeling completely lost and unsure how to cope
Worrying that there is something wrong with them or that they shouldn’t be feeling a certain way
Difficulties with fatigue and managing energy
Low mood and hopelessness
Difficulties with sleep, motivation, or eating
Dealing with traumatic memories of the loss
Changes in relationships with other loved ones
Grief for the life they used to live or the future they imagined or planned
Loss of self identity and changes in roles
Social isolation
Feeling as if other people just don’t get it
Good resources
Here are a number of good free resources you might wish to explore:
My Grief My Way (for those bereaved) https://mygriefmyway.co.uk/
Cruse Bereavement Supporthttps://www.cruse.org.uk/
Maggie’s (for bereavement support after cancer) https://www.maggies.org/
The Loss Foundation (cancer) https://thelossfoundation.org/
The Good Grief Trust (find resources) https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/
Sue Ryder (grief) https://www.sueryder.org/
Dying Matters (for support around end of life and before death): https://www.hospiceuk.org/our-campaigns/dying-matters/dying-matters-resources
My Professional Experience
Across my career I have worked regularly with loved ones, caregivers and family members of people with health conditions, both individually and with their loved one together. I also supported people who were coping with the imminent death of a loved one and experiencing anticipatory grief, as well as those who had been bereaved.
As part of this I worked with people all the way through their grief experience — from before the person died, through death and the first few months, approaching the first year anniversaries and challenges with difficult dates, and into years later where they were adjusting to life being very different and finding new meaning in their lives again after loss. I have seen many people find hope where they never thought it would exist again, and work through difficult moments to find the joy in their day to day once more.
Whilst I don’t believe that grief is something we can “fix” or “get over”, I do believe that there are ways to make the experience easier and more manageable, to feel less alone and unprepared, and to feel more supported during an unprecedented time in your life.
I found that many of us are completely unprepared for grief — it can completely floor us, make us feel as if we are drowning in waves of emotion, or make us keep busy every moment of the day so we don’t think about or feel anything difficult. We as a society don’t talk a lot about grief. Other people don’t know what to say for fear of getting it wrong or upsetting you — or because they simple don’t understand what you are feeling. There are a lot of myths and misconceptions about grief, and I have made it a part of my professional and personal life moving forward to help everyone better understand the process of grief and how they can support themselves and other people when they inevitably face a bereavement of some kind.